Alright, this sounds like a shocking and sensitive title, at least to me. This phrase, “one night stand” was not in my vocabulary until I joined the “night life community”. Thanks to the alcohol business.
So what is “One Night Stand”? – Just in case you are as naive as myself 4-5 years ago and you have to google it, here it is, the definition:
“Hooking up with someone for one night of sex with no strings attached and hoping to never see them again. It is important not to exchange any personal info with them so they can’t track you down and stalk you later.” – From Urban Dictionary
The definition above has been upgraded through time and it could be extended to: few night stands, friend with benefit, fcuk buddy etc etc.
As an Asian, or Vietnamese, this form of “relationship” is no where close to general knowlege for majority. We know well what is hour(s) hostel/ mini hotel for. We know that having any intercourse with under 16 years-old girls and found yourself few years on vacation. We even know condoms now available widely even in Sapa (I’ve seen a big signboard promoting the info). So I considered myself quite a wise person and I know everything about Sex. I know. Stupid, right?
If you think am going to tell you about my one-night-stand experiences, you are wrong stalker(s)! I know you are silently stalking me. That’s alright. Just keep reading, just keep reading. You will find something interesting. Promise.
Now, let assume all of us at least once had a one-night-stand. I give you one minute stop right there to remind yourself when was it and how was it? Was it the best sex experience you had in your life? No? hmm it’s normal.
As an adult who loves going out and having fun, we have all been there. You went to the bar, seen the girl you like, then your mutual friends introduced you two, you exchanged some small talks. She was sexy. What are you waiting for? You two headed either hotel or your place. There was an awkward moment you could not remember any hotel address and ended up to a super bad hotel but you were so turn on. You two couldn’t wait. You went up to the room. It’s too big! (the room!) Magic happened. You did not sleep at all (who need to sleep? and it was 3am anyway). Time flew fast and it was already 10AM. Magic has disappeared.What’s next?
Gentlement, here are my advice. Trust me, this city or even this world is so small you don’t want to mess up with women. They are all evil! Once you made them feel bad, even just a one night stand, you never know what she can talk behind your back. Hint: your skill, your “Magic buddy”, your flat, your hygene, your belly, your roommate…
Now, one golden rule to remember: Women’s definition of One Night Stand is not the same as your One Night Stand. Okay, the sex part yes, but sex is just a tiny point. How scary is that. She has the whole plan during that one night stand. The moment you took h, there are plenty of plans and excuses and opportunity in her mind already.
I had been shared by lots of girls after their magic nights. Most of them would do their best to impress the guys just to make him rember her. She would act naughty, used all her tougue technique to give you the best blow, spray some perfume in your closet before she left, spent hours talking to you. What did she want? She wanted to prove that she is worth an 2nd date or “a proper date”
Sadly enough, I had been shared by guys too. The have a To-Fu-List or a To-Do-List. What he remembered was how good she was at blowing? how crazy she was in bed.
Men and women are diferrent, we all know that. Guys would continue his one night stands maybe forever. Girls would continue keep her fantasy about her prince charming approaching her at the bars. But let’s set ourself some standards, or have some efforts to make both satisfied, or at least not feeling hurt ater ward. Here are some of my recommendations:
There is a point I got to mention here, in Vietnam, Where you take the girl to for that one night is IMPORTANT. Thanks for the oriental culture 3 generations living in 1 house (aka mama boy or daddy girl who refuse moving out), there is no privacy for any couple activities, most of couples will go to hours hostel/mini hotel for intimacy (or sex). Ok, just for sex. Hostel/mini hotel is still considered a place for secret sexual activities and affair. Therefore, spend a night (or half a night) in a mini hotel is not appropriate and not respected for a girl. Unless you pay for sex, bring her to your place or at least a nice place. Don’t just go to any doggy mini hotel or hours hostel. A walk of shame feeling was never an easy feeling, especially in Saigon, where people is still judging too much of the “modern lifestyle”.
However, you also need to consider carefully before taking her home. Here are some what she had in mind:
- If you took her home: “he was so respect me that he taking me home, not to hotel like other girls. I am special to him.” (she forgot to look at calendar it is end of the month)
- If you took her to a nice hotel: “it is a 4 star hotel! come on ladies, who even took a girl to a 4 star hotel just for one night stand. I am special!”
And believe me, most of the girls think one night stand is a start of a whole new lovey journey. I have no advice here as either where, she will keep her fantasy anyway. It depends on how you act after the night.
The morning after
If you have watched the movie “How to be single?”, remember the guy has all his tricks to make sure the girl left the morning after: no water in the fridge, no breakfast, he has a friend come visit in few minutes. I am sure guys has a never-end list of excuses. Here are things you may like to think: guys wear the same type of clothes and shoes on most of occasions. Girls not, most of them wearing sparkling bodycon dress, very tight, very sexy with a very high heels. Who wear that on the morning? Nobody, except… Now you got the idea. The feeling of walking out with the left over make-up on high heel and party dress in the morning is NOT cool at all. And with the curious eyes of the neighborhood, it is an insult to me I must say. Despite how careless girls said, she cares about what people think.
So be nice to her! Ask her if she like to shower, get her a coffee, some bacon (I love bacon after a big night), walk her down to Uber. Yes, just imagine you live in D2 and she is in Go Vap, it would cost 200k for taxi and the average wage of office people around 500$. You got the calculation.
Told her “I got a good time”. Stop right there. No future promising. The worst you can say is “I will call you”. How many times you actually called? None! That is the most annoying sentences to me.
That is it. Very simple but you make the lady happy. Imagine what she talked about you with her girl group: I had the best night! The guy is such a gentlement!
And the next time you met her, you both having a good time. She would not be your Cinderella, but any girls deserved a good one night stand.
P.S: Now guys, this is what I don’t understand yet, would the girl make any different where you take her to? like if she is so beautiful and there is no way you can get her when she was in her control self, would you take her to a better place than just any girl you got randomly at the bar? You got to open my eyes on this guys.