One day, a young pretty girl, who is a follower on my Facebook page, messaged me that question “Is Single Pathetic?”
I was, at that time, travelling with my don’t-know-what-are-we guy that I am dating. I repeated the question out loud “is single pathetic?”. Maybe at this moment, you also pause, and ask yourself, “is single pathetic?”
I don’t know. I have seen long distance relationship pathetic. I have seen breaking up pathetic. Being in a wrong relationship pathetic. Being cheated in relationship pathetic. But strange enough, I never see single pathetic. And indeed, this question never comes to my mind before. So, I really don’t know. Therefore, I have been thinking about it. And surprisingly, it may be true, in Vietnam.
Here at the country that being a woman is tiring with all responsibilities and expectation, being a wife is yet another big role people and society expecting from you, besides being a savvy business woman with brilliant strategic thinking, being fair with your lower report and nice and kind with your upper report, and, you must look shining like a diamond.
I don’t know since when Vietnamese women has to take so many responsibilities and roles. I don’t know why from the time women eating in the lower dining table with their kids in the kitchen while their men drinking and chatting up at the table in the living room back in the past, to, women is the one who negotiating the contract with a foreigner for their coffee farms or seal the billion dollars deal while taking their kids to school, hurry home in lunch break feeding baby milk and squeeze somewhere in her busy schedule time to have her facial massage so her husband not cheating on her.
Those are the big questions to be answered. And obviously, I don’t know the answer. What I just know, is, we were expected to become a wife since we were born as a baby girl. “Oh there you are, a little cute baby girl. You gonna have a handsome rich tender loving care husband!” and bamm, being single is, UNACCEPTABLE!
Now, think back of the girl that messaged me. Maybe it is not being single makes her sad enough to ask that question. Maybe, it is the expectation of not being single from this community makes her tired. I am. My girl-friends are. A lot of other almost thirty women I have known and don’t know are.
But my dear girl, even just my tiny voice, I want to tell you that, being single, is the most fabulous thing happen to you, even when you are young or getting older.
Being single, it means you have the right to choose and keep your options open. Option for traveling, going out have a drink or two or three or n drinks with your girls, or just stay comfort in your bed reading the crazy but amazing Haruki Murakami books. Or option of dating around until you find the one who love and treat you the best.
Being single, it means you have your own time to do your own things after hours pleasing your customers or your boss or your staffs or the fucking annoying girl at work who gossiping around you on Facebook how terrible you are.
Being single, is everything but pathetic. But don’t get me wrong, I believe in love and we all should believe in love. Both are beautiful, you will need a good balance. It is not easy, but you got me, you got all the inspiring single women out there busy working on their start-up, selling stuff online, getting tanned on the beach while drinking Corona with a lime. Just look around and you will see, you are not single at all. A great relationship with yourself is waiting ahead.
And you know what, “Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a dress and a night off”, looks what she got? 😉